Can I have some privacy please?

Now there are two very important topics that relate to all of us. However, very few of us are willing to have a frank and honest discussion about them with anyone. What am I talking about here? Personal privacy and personal space. Okay, I know some people have this notion at they are kinda the same thing. Not exactly, but they are related. Personal privacy is how much of ourselves we are willing to show the world. As in – the person who lets no one enter their home without a passport and vaccinations all the way to the person who thinks the whole world is a nudist colony and never seems to wear appropriate clothing anywhere. So, I’ve been single most of my adult life and I have a rather strict sense of personal privacy. My house has to have a privacy fence so no one can see me in the back yard. No one comes in my bedroom unless they have a really great reason (when my son was little he better have been on death’s door to cross the threshold). I’ve never done the herd bathroom run with other women when out for the evening. There’s more, but you get the idea. Personal space is how close you’re willing to be to someone while having a conversation. Some people want to get you in a bear hug and talk right in your face while others have to keep you a football field away and shout at you. Fine. Fortunately for this one, most people are happy with the arm’s length standard. Me? Step into my bubble and I may slap you into next week. Walk to far away from it and I will probably turn around, walk away thinking the conversation is now over. Simple enough, right? Now that I’ve set the stage for you, let me tell you about the conversation which ensued this weekend when I got together with my friends. For some reason, one of my friend’s daughter followed her into the coffeeshop. Now this young woman got married about a month ago, she should’ve been enjoying a day with her new hubby, not hanging out with us old ladies. Whatever. After a while, she asked if she could ask a question of us. We all kinda shrugged, not sure what she was needing. She then went on to explain how she was having problems in her marriage because her husband gave her no privacy. Once they get home from work at night, he literally follows her around the house. Apparently, even into the bathroom. If she manages to slip out of his sight for even a second he starts calling out for her. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he apparently always hugs her and whispers in her ear rather than having a normal conversation. She was holding out hope that we might have a solution. Uhm, she was asking the wrong group. Almost all of us had been divorced, some of us more than once. We were not the ones to be asking for relationship advice. Let’s face it, I’m a very nice person, and my first thought was ‘dump the creep.’ I know, I know, it probably was harmless on his part. You know, settling in with a new person, getting to know how to live with someone else. Again, whatever. But I don’t think I was the only one having the ‘get rid of him’ idea cross their mind. Yikes, you can’t imagine how long the very awkward pause was after she finished talking before any of us moved much less made a sound. And those were the cough, cough, sniff, sniff behind the hand kind of noises. Not actual words. Finally, her mother told her something along the lines of maybe she should tell all of this to her husband and see what he says. And about ten seconds later someone mercifully changed the conversation. Yup, personal privacy and space have unwritten rules and standards for a reason. This is one of those things we struggle to figure out what others want our whole lives. Or we just don’t care and keep stomping all over others boundaries leaving destruction in our wake. Hey, here’s a thought – tell people what you find acceptable and what ya don’t. Well at least the people you live with. This poor girl looked like she was sleeping with one eye open. Life shouldn't end up upside down where nothing seems quite right...