The Camping Trip - Episode 1

 

Mark

           The whole troubles in our marriage were stupid from the beginning. As in the start of 2020. Fine, it was mostly my fault. Because it always was. I’d lost my dream job, like so many other people, rather early into the whole global shutdown. However, unlike so many others, I stepped up to the plate. Found a job in two seconds at the local grocery story. Sure, it was for less than half of what I’d been making before. So what if money was tight? We’d get by. But Amber kept nagging me about this and that. All we did was snipe at each other. It just got to be too much. My brother’s lumpy couch started sounding awfully good. Not sure what made me pull the trigger, yet, there I was one night. Stuffing a few items of clothing into my gym bag and stomping out the door. Leaving my screaming wife behind, as I yelled back, “Divorce court as soon as they reopen!”

For months I ignored her, her never-ending phone calls to me, her calling my brother at odd hours, her showing up at my work… Okay, okay, she was shopping for groceries not stalking me. But come on here, did she need to get a few items every day? What with people supposed to be staying home? Still and all, something about the way she moved got to me. The way she smelled, the brush of her hand on my arm, her little laugh. And we began to talk again, well, not quite. A joke here, a quick mention of a memory there. Absence was making this heart fonder.

Now don’t ask me why I didn’t answer the phone the day she called. Instead, I let it go to voicemail as I almost always did. “Hey, I have an idea. We should do something completely out of our comfort zone. Let’s go camping. Try one last time to fix us as we learn something new. Are you up for it?” Amber’s honey sweet voice sang out on the line.

Oh, and please don’t even get me started on why I didn’t call back. Nope, I sent a quick text. 'Sure, whatev.'

To this day, I do believe she was kidding about this whole idea of getting out into the wilderness and never expected me to say ‘yes’. We were two city kids, the only time we’d been off the street was to step into the grass of the local park. A park which is shaded by tall building not the tiny trees which clung to life in it. Yet, over the next several days, she sent me a mountain of texts. And smile emoji, smile emoji, tree emoji, tree emoji, heart emoji, heart emoji, and more. Gag. “Booked us into a state park for your next off days, it’s a few hours away but…” “Grab your gear and load up the...” “Check in time is 2, leave here at …” Etc., etc., etc. Blah, blah, blah, who really cared. She wasn’t going to let this go. One giant problem – she hadn’t told me exactly where this park was or how to find her once I got there. Or at least I didn’t think so based on the first few words of all those texts. And googling the park wasn’t a great help. The place was massive, as in almost as big as the city we lived in minus the million or so people. Hard to get my mind around that one. Thus, at some point I was going to have to scroll through her gazillion texts and hope to find all the details somehow.

The day before the big adventure, I went to the only outdoorsy type store I knew of to buy a tent. To my horror, there must’ve been a hundred options. And all of them at, what seemed to me, outrageous prices. A cute little girl who should’ve been selling girl scout cookies not working here bounced my way. Giving her a quick glance, I could see her name-tag said ‘Barbie’, fitting.

“Whacha lookin’ for?” She popped her gum and then blew a bubble. Oh my, how this girl had a job when so many were unemployed was a wonder. And why she wasn't wearing a mask was beyond me.

“The cheapest tent possible.” I grumble, half under my breath.

“Gatcha. Clearance’s over there.” Her arm waved toward the back of the store, a finger wiggling towards the ceiling.

Dumb blonde. Mumbling to myself about how stupid some women are, I wandered in the general direction she’d indicated. At some point stumbling upon a red ‘clearance’ signpost in the middle of the aisle, I stopped to scan the area. As I swore under my breath, I stared digging through the piles and was rewarded with a tent for half price.

In the morning, I grabbed all the canned goods in my brother’s small kitchen, a can opener, a beat-up old pan, a cigarette lighter and his lone folding chair. Yes, I was well aware that folding chair was one of his prized possessions. He used it for tailgating with his friends before the games but it wasn’t like he was going to be needing it anytime soon.

Not ten minutes onto the freeway and I get a flat tire. Yes, I’m a man but I’ve never changed one in my life. That’s what AAA is for, however, it was one of the first things to go after I lost my fancy job. Let me tell you, if it hadn’t been for the grace of a stranger, I’d still be on the side of the road. Needless to say, I was rather late getting to the park. When I arrived, I glanced at my phone to see if I had any messages, it was dead. I’d forgotten to charge it the night before. Great, just great. Because I still didn’t have a clue as to how to find Amber and without all of her missives I was dead in the water.

Once again, fortune was smiling on me. A nice-looking woman in a uniform waved me over to a parking spot. “You visiting for the day?” She asked as I started to lower my window.

“No, my wife and I are camping.” I replied.

“Name?” She quired.

I gave it to her and she directed me into the building across the parking lot to finish the reservation. Because, as it turns out, Amber was late as usual and was nowhere to be found.

Once I got everything straightened out, found where I was supposed to be, I was rather angry at Amber. After all, this was her idea. I was almost two hours later than she had said we were to arrive in the park. What the heck? My anger continued to build as I drove deep into the wooded area of the park. My wife and her ridiculous ideas. Wanting to be able to make a quick getaway later, I pulled off the side of the road rather than into the assigned space once I found it.

Staring at the site for a moment, it was rather clear I could set up close to the road with no problem. As I grabbed the box with the tent, I took all of my frustration from the day out on it. Pieces getting tossed everywhere. And I didn’t care if she ever showed up.

Amber

           Mark and I had problems. And we shouldn’t be having any. We were still practically newlyweds after all, only been married a little over two years. College sweet-hearts, got married the week after graduation. Okay, okay, I know the troubles were my fault. I should’ve found a better job after he got fired. But I liked the coffeeshop I worked at. Sure, I wasn’t a barista anymore thus no awesome tips for flirting with the customers. However, now I had been trained to roast the beans. Yeah, it was only part-time and hit and miss based on how many orders came in. Yet, it was something. But he didn’t seem to want to cut back on his spending based on our new much lower income. And then I dared to suggest he sell his car. To me this made sense, his car was worth more than mine. Yikes, he blew a gasket about selling his 'baby'. Then fled to his brother’s postage stamp of an apartment.

Thus, I was left with all the bills, crying in my pillow. Missing him more than I ever had a right to, I’m sure. And I needed to find a way to get him back. Divorce wasn’t on the table as far as I was concerned. He’d said that in the heat of the moment, a line thrown over his shoulder in anger. No way did he mean it.

Then Sally from two doors down, passed me in the hall one day. She had this wicked sunburn and I do think she was smiling under her mask. So, I asked what was up.

“Oh, we rented an RV and spent the most marvelous week camping!” She gushed and then spent the next fifteen minutes going into all the of the gory and sexy details. All the while I was trying not to roll my eyes and gag at the thought of Sally and Greg doing anything.

Well, if the oldest couple in the building could rekindle their romance, why couldn’t we? Thus, I started my scheme. Slow and steady, a few phone calls, showing up at the store. You know, get him to think about me and not in an angry way. I used all of my feminine wiles, threw in a few "Look at how big your muscles are now," lines and wiggled in all the right ways every time I went to the store.

Until the day I sprang my trap, and he fell for it! Oh, I was over the moon! He said yes to camping, yes to everything. It was going to be wonderful. But on the proper morning, there I sat in our living room with my suitcase by the door and nothing. He didn’t call, text or show up. I checked the texts I’d sent, yes, I had said about what time we need to leave to be there for check-in.

I called his number, it went straight to voicemail. I tried again, same result. Deep breath as I bit my lower lip. Tapping my fingers on the arm of the couch, I wondered who else to call. Snapping my fingers, ah, yes. I called his brother.

“Hey, Matt, where’s Mark?” My sweet sugar voice, you catch more flies with honey.

“He left for that park you told him to go. That was a bit ago.” He barked out.

Uhm? “He’s on his way here?” I asked.

“Doubt it. He bought this tiny tent, stole most of my food and took off towards the freeway.” Came the quick reply.

You must be kidding me. “Thanks.” I snapped the phone off before I said something I would regret. No RV? Why did he not follow my instructions? And he left without me? On what was to be our romantic, let’s fix our marriage retreat? Great, with my junker of a car, I’d be lucky if I ever got to the park. My car didn’t go over 60 MPH. And I didn’t have a tent, I wasn’t sure how he was planning on cooking, and oh so many other problems.

Grabbing a few more essentials from the kitchen, like some food, dish soap, matches, candles, etc., plus a few blankets and towels, I rushed out the door. Somewhere along the way, I found a store that had some camping gear. Bought a tent, chair and tiny gas stove. At least I would be eating hot food.

Once I got to the park, the woman at the entrance informed me the rest of my party was already there. Well, duh. He’d left me behind hours ago. Arriving at the correct spot, I was shocked to see he wasn’t finished setting up his tent yet. Without saying a word, I got out of my car and began to set up mine. It was a race to the finish now. I wanted to beat the pants off the idiot. For leaving me months ago, for leaving me behind today, for being rude, well, for everything. By the time I was finished, I realized how silly I was being. Once of us had to be the bigger person here and say something. However, I wasn't sure how to break the ice. 

    At about the same time, we both pulled a chair out of our respective cars and sat down on opposite sides of the camping spot. My breath was coming in quick rasps, he was looking mighty sexy all hot and sweaty. 

A: Mark says, "How about I call out for pizza?"

B: Amber says, "So glad you could come. We need to talk."

C: The park ranger stops by and says, "Hey, hope you're enjoying your day so far. However, you can't park just off the side of the road like that."