Birds of a feather flock together

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There's something about us that craves connection. A need to be with others like us. And family often plays a big role in this. For people who were adopted, this gets complicated. Sure, they usually love and accept their adoptive parents as parents. But, still many end up thinking about finding their birth parents. Because there's this pull to look into the eyes of someone who looks like you, has the same nose as you, the same hands as you, the same hair as you, shares your DNA. However, not all end up taking the steps to follow up on those thoughts. And what happens when an adult adoptee finds his/her birth family and then has to introduce his/her children to a family they never knew existed? See - complicated.

A while ago, I had the opportunity to witness two cousins meet for the first time. These college-age young men were the children of an adoptee and her newly found half-sister. I'm not sure how either was told the news - "surprise, you've got a new cousin!" or something along those lines would be my best guess. Anyway, as I watch these two men talk, I was struck by how alike they were. They looked similar enough to be twins. They had similar hand gestures, facial expressions, and tilting of their head as they spoke. As the conversation went on, it was slowly revealed that they shared similar hobbies, tastes in music, movies, etc. My gaze during the whole encounter kept shifting between the two trying to spot the differences. It started to feel like some weird 'find 5 things wrong with this picture' game. Or an episode of the 'Twilight Zone'. At some point, I began to wonder if either of these young men realized they were looking in a mirror when they looked at the other one. In the end, I hoped they will continue the share a friendship and build on that first meeting.

So find your tribe. Be it the one you were born into, the one you were placed with, the one you formed on your own. Embrace those bonds, make the most of them, savor those moments of connection, find those things you share in common. As they say, no man is an island.

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