How to speak 'fancy'

So I was having coffee with a friend the other day. All of a sudden, she makes a statement to the effect of how she’s driven nuts because I talk so fancy. Uhm, not sure what’s up with that. Now I know I sound nothing like 90% of the people around me – I’m not southern and it shows. So, is this like how everyone equates an English accent to being sexy? But, somehow I doubt my lack of a Southern accent sounds even remotely fancy, therefore, it must be something else. Okay, I’ll bite. I go ahead and ask what she means by this declaration. “You find a way of using big words in every sentence and make it look easy. Plus, you never swear. Cause, I’m not counting your use of ‘fudge’ every once in a while.” Wow, who knew that was all it took to speak eloquently? Fine, sure, I’m well read and thus, have a rather extensive vocabulary and apparently I can use said vocabulary without even batting an eyelash. As for not cursing every other word, as most Americans are prone to do, sorry, I wasn’t raised in the gutter. Let’s get honest here, is this my fault for driving her nuts? Or are there other forces at work here? After all, I’m not the one who caused her to have poor language skills. Nope, her parents, teachers, bosses, coworkers are to blame there. And, of course, she shoulders some of the responsibility as well. She knows how to read. She has a golden opportunity to learn some great new words if she wants to. I’m sorry to be so harsh here, however, I’m not going to ‘dumb down’ my language to appease those who aren’t happy with the way I speak. Fancy, schmancy. No excuses for speaking like a 2-year-old whose only just learning to talk. Learning is good for us. It makes us grow and when we stop growing we die. Okay, lets all go out there and exercise our brains.  What does 'epitome' mean? Come on now, you can do it, think hard now...