What makes a stalker

I was talking to a young friend of mine who got married this summer.  She asked me if I knew what the line was between being attentive and being a stalker.  Uhm, whoa, hold up here a second.  What in the world was she talking about?  This definitely needed some explanation before I could answer the query.  Turns out her new husband asks her what she’s doing every five seconds.  If she goes to stand up, he asks her where she’s going.  If her phone rings he instantly asks who it is.  He goes through her mail.  He sits there and stares at her when she’s folding the laundry, making dinner, washing the dishes.  Sure, there were some nice things as well.  If her glass was empty he would refill it without asking.  He buttered her toast in the morning.  However, overall, it was starting to drive her nuts.  Nevertheless, she hadn’t said anything to him, yet.  She wasn’t sure if he was being overly attentive or was a borderline creepy stalker.  Yikes, all I could think was, ‘Please have a long conversation with that man before you drive a knife through his heart.’  Okay, I know there’s an adjustment period when two people start to live together.  Each is trying to figure out the other’s likes/dislikes and overall routine.  It happens at some jobs as the boss looks over your shoulder to make sure you’re doing things right for the first few weeks.  But in a marriage, I would think it wouldn’t get to the point that one person is feeling like they’re being stalked.  Then again, what do I know?  It’s not like I’m some kind of expert on the subject of marriage.  Nope, I’m thinking this girl came to me only because I’m older and therefore I must be wiser.  Oh my goodness, how much grey hair do I have exactly?  When did I become the village mom?  Never mind, I’m thinking I just don’t want to go that deep on the subject of my age.  But back to this girl and her problem.  I got to wondering, was she too independent?  Because, let’s face it, I’m not sure I could adjust to someone paying this much attention to me.  But I’ve been on my own for far too long at this point.  However, life often is comprised of a series of compromises.  You know as the saying goes, no man is an island.  Somehow we must learn to ebb and flow with others.  But where the line of ‘you’ve gone too far into my space’ is I’m not exactly sure.  Yet, I think buttering someone’s toast may be it.