You can call me Dino the Dinosaur

Now I’m not a huge fan of modern technology.  If you ask my son, he’ll happily tell you I’m a dinosaur.  Take the modern toilet.  They flush by themselves.  I hate them and let me tell you why.  Most of the stupid things don’t flush properly, you have to find the little button and force them to do their job.  If I have any other option, I avoid the things like the plague.  However, I’ve been traveling a lot this summer.  There hasn’t been a way around the stupid things.  And now I have another reason to hate them.  The other day, I needed to use the restroom.  So in I go without a care in the world.  This is a simple task, no problems here.  Thus, I sit down to do my business and the toilet flushed – splashing me with water.  I jumped up, startled, wondering what happened here.  When the stupid thing was finished, I sat again and it flushed again.  Okay, fine, there’s something wrong with this particular toilet.  There wasn’t anyone else in the bathroom so I waddled to the next stall.  Yes, that’s the proper word since my undies were at my knees and my skirt was bunch up at my waist (sorry for that image but I want you to have a full understanding of what I was dealing with).  So at toilet number 2, the same thing happens.  I sit down and the thing flushes.  Ugh, I was left with only 2 options – sitting and getting soaked or hovering.  I decided on hovering.  Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, there weren’t other toilets in the place.  Toilet 1 and toilet 2 were it and both flushed as soon as you sat down.  If the need wasn’t urgent, I would’ve waited to find another establishment.  Yes, I would’ve given anything at that point to find a porta-potty.  No moving parts, nothing to flush at all, no running water.  Ah, that would’ve been heaven compared with what I was dealing with here.  Yes, I know some technology can be a good thing.  However, I do believe we’ve taken this ‘do nothing ourselves’ thing a bit to far.  You can sleep while driving in a self-driving car for goodness sake.  So, please, for my sanity, can we go back to a simpler time?  You know when you didn’t need a smart phone to enter your house?  No, I don’t exactly want to go back to the days of ‘Little House on the Prairie’.  I do like running water and air conditioning, just like most people.  However, an evil self-flushing toilet isn’t my idea of a good time, thank you very much.  Yup, I’m thinking about asking my friend and traveling companion if we can get a small trailer.  Thus, we can put a porta-potty on the thing and never have to deal with public restrooms again.  Yes, I know, I know, there would now be the problem of finding a place to dump the thing out every once in a while.  But even that’s got to be better than the alternative, right?  Fine, maybe I should be sent back to Bedrock with Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone…