Come on, what difference does one little word make?

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I met someone the other day who told me he was single.  I took that to mean he’d never been married.  I said I was divorced.  Well, he then informs me I’m divorced only if I want to be.  Wait, what?  He goes on to explain that I’m just as single as he is.  Uhm, no I’m not.  I’ve been married, I got a divorce.  I can’t unring that bell.  Thus, I tell him just that.  Okay, then he says he’s going to let me in on a little secret.  He’s been married and divorced a few times.  It doesn’t matter.  What does matter, is he’s not married at the moment.  So, he’s not married, he’s single.  Huh, fine.  I ask if any of his wives know that he’s been married before.  “Oh no,” is his reply, “I always tell them I’m single.”  Whoa.  That’s a rather big leap.  Plus, isn’t your marital status technically a legal thing?  You know, you get your ex-spouse's social security as long as you never remarry because you're divorced – not single.  I don’t know but I do know I would want to know if the person I’m dating has ever been married before.  And I can assure you, I don’t want to be lied to even if it’s something minor.  This is something huge.  At least to me it is.  So, I give this guy a sideways glance.  Tell him I think he’s full of it and I pity any girl who may end up dating him next.  Sometimes it’s okay if we want to reinvent ourselves.  We’ve made a mistake or two and need a major course correction.  Fine, so be it.  But we can’t forget where we’ve been or worse start lying about who we are.  We're the sum total of our experiences.  We can’t erase some, pretend they never happened.  Because they did, they helped to shape us, make us who we are.  So embrace every part of you, it’s a wonderful thing – warts, exes and all…

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